You Will Be Mine
by camatimi
Summary: Elsa is faced with the dilemma of having Hans return to Arendelle to try and make it up to them, by order of his parents. She does her best to avoid him, but when her nightmares and bad thoughts become too much, it seems that she's only able to find solace in his company. Post-movie. Deals heavily with self harm and suicide. Hansla, with implied Kristanna.
1. Prologue

**I've had this idea stuck in my head for a long time. I have this headcanon where when she was younger, Elsa cut herself to help control her powers. It will be explained more in upcoming chapters, but for now, this is just the prologue.**

**It takes place at that scene right in the middle of "Do You Want to Build a Snowman?" where she begs her parents not to touch her.**

**This story will eventually pan out to be a Helsa fic, but for now, this chapter is focusing solely on Elsa and her self harm. I don't know when we'll see Hans, but he will be around eventually.**

**This chapter is really short, and kind of graphic, because I use this scene to illustrate the first time she self harms. That's quite literally all this chapter is, so I apologize in advance if this is triggering. You have been warned.**

* * *

"I'm scared! It's getting stronger!"

The ice was everywhere. The walls were covered in it, and everywhere Elsa stepped left angry white streaks all across the floor. Her breath hitched in her throat as she looked down at her hands, mortified.

"Getting upset only makes it worse," the king said in his most soothing voice, reaching for his daughter. "Calm down-"

Just as he was about to embrace her, Elsa ducked out of the way. "No! Don't touch me!" she yelled, recoiling. "Please! I don't want to hurt you!"

The king stopped reaching for her, as per her wishes, sadness in his eyes. Sadness in both their eyes, Elsa noticed, as her mother put her hand on his shoulder. They wore equally hurt expressions.

Elsa turned away from them, unable to bear seeing them like that. "I.. I need to be alone," she whispered, hugging herself.

She heard her mother sigh. "We love you, Elsa. We only want to help." Elsa shut her eyes tight and shook her head. She didn't open them until she heard them shuffle out, closing the door behind them. "She just needs some time," she heard her father's words, muffled on the other side of the doorway.

Once she was sure they were gone, Elsa opened her eyes, watery with tears, and looked around the room at the destruction she was causing. The curtains were covered in ice, her chair was frozen solid. Everywhere she looked, she saw white. She hated herself for it.

Conceal. Don't feel.

Elsa slowly slumped to the ground and pulled her knees up to her chest, hugging her legs as she cried.

She needed to stop this somehow. But she didn't know how. She had tried everything to repress this, but they always came back, no matter what she did.

She needed some other way to get these... these... emotions out. Because that's what this was. Her powers always got out of control when she was emotional.

No. I don't need to control this. I just need to die.

She felt more tears coming, stinging the backs of her eyes. That's what she had to do, she decided. She just... she needed to die. Then this would all go away. All of it. Everything would be better off without her.

With her mind made up, she looked around her room, frantically searching for something, anything, that would aid her in her attempt at her life. She saw nothing. Just ice.

And ice would be fine, she decided.

She reached out towards one of her icicles on the wall with a shaky hand, breaking it off. She turned it over in her hand, examining it. She tapped her finger on the tip, and it bled. It was sharp enough to do damage.

Her breathing was as shaky as her hands as she took her makeshift blade and held it to her wrist. How do you even go about killing yourself?

She let in a shallow breath, and slowly slid tip across the inside of her wrist. Almost instantly, there was an angry red streak where the ice had just been. Blood welled at the end, and slid down her forearm.

It didn't hurt. It didn't feel like anything, really. Not only that, but as Elsa sat, contemplating just what it had felt like, the frost on the walls had started to recede, and she noticed this right away.

But had that really been because of what she just did?

She did it again, and again. And even more times after that, until she couldn't even see her pale skin in between the red and the blood.

She didn't stop until the icicle melted. Elsa looked around the room, feeling like she was seeing the world with new eyes, heightened senses. She could think clearly now; there was no frost, no ice, nothing. Everything looked normal again.

Maybe she didn't have to die. Maybe she really could control this.

* * *

**So... there it is. I really hope I'm getting this right. I have never put my self harm into words before, and I did it to the best of my abilities here, but I'm sorry if it doesn't make sense in some places. Her thoughts are so scattered, which is how it is when you are depressed and suffer from anxiety.**

**The next chapter takes place right after the movie.**

**Anyways, I hope people will end up sticking with this.**


	2. Chapter 1

**Ok, so now the rest of this is going to be just after the movie. Hans is being sent back to the Southern Isles, Elsa and Anna are back and everything's good.**

**Elsa won't be talking or thinking about her self harm for a while. For now, it's like it never happened. No one knows, and she's not doing it anymore (she has found a much healthier way to control her powers) and so she thinks no one has to know.**

**Hans might be coming in the next chapter. Don't hold me to that; but I love Hans and I can't keep him away for too long without losing my mind.**

* * *

You Will Be Mine - Chapter 1

_Green eyes staring as the room spins baby from behind your desk~~ _  
_Until you know you look so good with your pale skin in your bright blue dress~~_

* * *

After the Great Thaw, everything in Arendelle was -surprisingly- able to go back to normal. The crops grew back, businesses opened back up, and the people of Arendelle welcomed Elsa back with open arms, powers and all. Elsa took to being queen very quickly, and was a very kind and courteous leader. Arendelle blossomed under her rule, and everything was working out for the better.

Until the day that the queen received a letter.

"This just came in, my Queen, all the way from the Southern Isles," Kai announced, looking at Elsa with knowing eyes as he handed her the letter.

Elsa took a shallow breath and took the letter, nodding her appreciation. "Thank you, Kai." They hadn't heard from the Southern Isles since they shipped Hans back.

Elsa made her way over to her desk and Kai pulled her seat out for her. Elsa smiled at the man and took her seat. Biting her lip, Elsa picked up the letter opener and cut the envelope. She pulled out the letter, ornate parchment folded perfectly, just how a Royal letter should look.

_Queen Elsa of Arendelle,_

_We were so pleased to hear of Arendelle's prosperity under your rule, although of course we are not surprised. We regret that we were unable to attend your coronation, and we promise to attend your next function in person, especially after what happened the last time we sent someone in our place._

_On that note, we are still dreadfully sorry for our youngest son's actions, and we would like you to know that we have finally decided upon his punishment._

_Along with having his royal title stripped away, we feel that the only way for him to truly grasp the concept of what he did, is for him to return to Arendelle and try his best to make it up to you, and your sister, Princess Anna, by working for you. Of course we realize that nothing he ever does will be able to compensate for his behavior, but are asking your permission to send him back so he can at least try. If you agree to let him return, we promise to send along our finest security to ensure your safety, and if said safety is ever compromised, you are free to send him back to us, for an even harsher punishment._

_We understand if you are uncomfortable with what we are offering, and our allyship will not be compromised if you decide to decline, but we would like for you to at least consider our offer._

_Our humble regards,_

_The Royal Family of the Southern Isles._

Elsa read the letter again. And then again. And then a fourth and fifth time. And even when she was done reading, she didn't look up from the letter for what felt like forever. Her head spun and her breath hitched and she felt like she was going to be sick. Elsa sighed deeply and dropped the letter on the desk, covering her eyes with her hand.

"My Queen? Are you alright?"

Elsa looked at Kai. "Bring Anna to me. We have something we need to discuss."

* * *

"What do you mean, Hans is coming back?!" Anna demanded, her voice reverberating off the walls from the volume of her words.

Elsa took a deep breath. "I told you, it's not offici-"

"No, it's not official, but you're going to let him come back, aren't you?" Tears were forming in her sister's eyes and she shook her head in disbelief. She never wanted to see Hans again, not after he broke her heart and tried to kill them both. Even though she had Kristoff now, he heart still ached on occasion from her very brief first love.

"Anna, I have no choice. His kingdom did nothing wrong. It was all Hans. We cannot hold a grudge against the entire Southern Isles."

Anna huffed and plopped down in her chair, folding her arms. "But in the letter they said they wouldn't-"

"I know what the letter said. But we still need to accept the offer. We cannot risk losing another trade partner, not after we cut ties with Weselton."

Anna sighed, defeated. She knew nothing of their trade, but if it was this big of a deal to her sister, it must have been important. "Can you at least run it by the Council first?"

Elsa met her sister's gaze. "You know I have to do that before I make any decision."

Anna tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear in frustration. "No one is going to be happy about this," she mumbled.

Elsa nodded. "I'm not happy about it either. But it has to be done."

* * *

Despite Elsa's best attempts at peace, once her kingdom found out about the letter, the whole of Arendelle was at war with itself over whether or not they should let him return. Half of the people claimed that he would try to murder the Royal Family again, and he shouldn't be allowed to return. Anna agreed with them.

Meanwhile, the other half of Arendelle said that he should be given a chance to make it up to the royal family for what he did to them. Elsa was on their side.

As a monarch, Elsa felt it was her responsibility to be a kind and courteous ruler to everyone, whether or not they deserved it. And Hans did not deserve it. But Allyship with the Southern Isles was more important than any grudge any of them had against Hans, and of course every single one of them had reasons to hate him. But in the end, the council found in favor of letting Hans return, so long as Arendelle wasn't required to give him anything except the bare necessities.

Elsa penned a letter of response back to the Southern Isles later that week.

_Royal Family of the Southern Isles,_

_After careful thought and consideration, my council and I have decided to accept your proposal. We will allow Hans of the Southern Isles to return to our fair kingdom, as long as you uphold every other offer in your letter. That is, Hans must have constant supervision while he is here, both by your security, and our own. We will allow him to stay and work in the castle, and we hold the right to send him back to the Southern Isles at any moment we feel our safety is threatened. Should you so choose to accept these terms, we will welcome Hans back to our kingdom._

_Sincerely__,_

_Queen Elsa and Princess Anna of Arendelle_

* * *

**So there you have it. Now that I'm looking back on it, Hans will most definitely be in the next chapter, or the chapter after that. **

**Also, thank you to everyone who has favorited/followed this story, and a special thank you to those who have reviewed. It really means the world to me.**


	3. Chapter 2

**Here we are at chapter 2! I'm really bad at descriptions so I'm sorry. Dialogue is more my thing. Whoops.**

**Anyways. There's going to be some more interaction between the sisters before Hans comes in, and we discover that Anna is in fact aware of Elsa's desctructive habits. Then Hans is introduced, so yay.**

* * *

Chapter 2

_Don't you ever wonder how we survive?~~_  
_Well now that you're gone, the world is ours~~_

* * *

It was the first day of winter. Snow fell down from the sky gently, and Arendelle was making preparations for the months to come.

It had been a month since Elsa had sent the letter, agreeing to let Hans come back. The Southern Isles was far from Arendelle, yes, but not that far. Elsa figured that they would have seen their flag on the horizon any day now. And, although all precautions had been taken to ensure hers and Anna's safety while he was here, she still couldn't shake her feeling of unease.

Anna had no problem reminding Elsa, almost every day, about what he had almost done to both of them.

"He tried to freeze me, and almost cut your head off!" she exclaimed one day.

Elsa hated it when she used that against him. Anna used that one all the time, and at first it merely upset Elsa; now it was just getting old. "No, he didn't almost freeze you, Anna. That was me. All me."

Elsa's response to that shocked Anna, and she reeled back, unsure of what to say. "That's not..." She shook her head and started over, "You didn't do it on purpose."

"Does that matter?" Her voice broke on the last word and she had to look away so Anna wouldn't see the tears in her eyes. Elsa blamed herself every day for what happened to Anna. Every time she closed her eyes she thought of her sister, frozen solid. She didn't think she'd ever forgive herself for it.

Hesitantly, Anna approached her sister, gently placing her hand on hers. "I'm sorry, Elsa. I don't mean to bring up bad memories, it's just... Uhg!" She huffed angrily, stomping her foot. "I don't want him coming back!"

Her sister's childish response brought a reluctant smile to the Queen's face. "No one does, but haven't we gone over this before?"

Anna sighed, nodding, and took on a serious face as she recited back the words that Elsa said to her every day in her most regal voice, "We cannot risk losing trade with the Southern Isles and therefore we must let Hans return as a gesture of good will." Her voice returned to normal and she gave her sister an incredulous look as she plopped down in the chair opposite of Elsa's desk. "Even though they specifically said they would harbor no ill feelings if we declined."

Elsa sighed and pursed her lips. "Anna, countries say that to each other all the time in an effort to seem professional. No one ever means it." She approached her desk and sat down, across from Anna. "I'm not doing this to punish you, you have to understand that."

Elsa unconciously tugged at her sleeve, scratching at the fabric covering her wrist. Anna noticed, but didn't say anything. "I know. But I still don't think it's a good idea for him to come back." She got up and switched chairs, choosing one closer to her sister. "I mean, what if he really does try something? Don't blow this off; I'm serious."

Elsa sighed and glanced away. "Anna, I'm sure we'll be fine. We have the best security to surround us at all times. It's going to be fine."

Anna reached out hesitantly towards her sister's sleeve, and Elsa instantly retracted her arm. "Anna stop! I don't like to be touched!"

"Oh calm down I was admiring your sleeve design!" Anna exclaimed, taking Elsa's wrist again. Elsa did her best to remain calm as her sister traced the pattern on her sleeves. One wrong move and Anna would see and that couldn't-

"My Queen, we have information on Hans Westergard's approaching ship," Kai announced as he entered the room. Elsa smoothly removed her hand from her sister's grasp and stood up, grateful for this distraction.

"Yes?"

"His ship is on the horizon, and should be here by nightfall. Is there any other preparations we must make?"

"No, but I would like to be present when he disemba-"

"Me too!" Anna cut her sister off, standing up with her. "I want to be there when he comes off the ship too."

Kai glanced back between the two sisters and shrugged. "I will let the guards know."

* * *

The ship bearing the Southern Isles' flag docked just after sunset. Almost the entire kingdom came to watch him disembark. Elsa stood alongside the guards, and Anna and Kristoff as she waited calmly for the traitor.

"Introducing, the Royal Family of the Southern Isles!"

The first ones to emerge from the ship were the King and Queen themselves. This shocked Elsa; she hadn't been expecting them to come, but now, reflecting on the letter that they had sent, Elsa supposed it wasn't too much of a shock that they came. They approached Elsa and bowed respectfully, and Elsa offered a curtsy as well. "Welcome to my kingdom," Elsa greeted them regally. "It's an honor to have you all here." The king looked very similar to Hans, only older and wiser, with sharper features and blue eyes. The queen was beautiful, with her long dark brown hair done up in a fancy bun.

The Queen smiled at Elsa, looking at her with friendly green eyes. "Oh no, Queen Elsa, it is our honor to be able to be in your lovely kingdom. We are delighted to be here."

Following after them in rows of two were their twelve older sons, which the King and Queen introduced individually.

"Prince Theodor is our oldest, and next in line for the throne."

"Prince Basitaan."

"Prince Christian."

"Prince Anders."

"Prince Nelsen."

"Prince Morten. Prince Fredrik, Prince Paul, Prince Johan, Prince Erik, Prince Nikolai, Prince Tobias."

Elsa, Anna, and Kristoff greeted each prince as they came by. Introductions went on for a long while; there were so many of them! Around the seventh or eighth prince, she started to wonder if there was even an end to this long line of brothers.

Eventually, they met the twelfth prince. As soon as his introduction was over, four guards came out of the ship, a shackled Hans being almost dragged behind them. He was nothing like the dashing prince that had come and wooed her sister all those months ago. He was disheveled; his ginger hair had grown long, his face was unshaven, and he stood hunched, nothing like the regal stance he used to hold himself with.

"And of course you know Hans," the king mumbled as his youngest son approached them. No 'Prince' before his name, Elsa noticed. They had kept their promise of stripping his title.

The guards all but tossed Hans at Elsa's feet. Elsa backed up out of habit, staring down at this man whom she couldn't even believe had been the same from before. Her reaction caused him to laugh bitterly. "Oh, sorry your highness. Don't want to scuff your shoes, now do we?" No. Definitely not the same person she had met before.

"Hans!" the queen chastised. "You will address her with respect if you ever wish to return home, do you understand?" How must it feel to be chastised by your mother in front of a queen that you had tried to murder?

Elsa shook her head at the other royals. "No, it- it's fine. He'll have plenty of time to make it up to me. For now, though..." she sidestepped Hans and stood next to her sister, smiling at the others. "We did plan a party for tonight, and we would love it if you would join us."

"We would love to attend, but I just would not feel right leaving my son's attitude towards you like that," the queen explained. She looked at the guards and gestured to Hans.

The guards picked Hans up like he weighed nothing and pulled him to his feet to look Elsa in the eye. They stood there for a long time, eye to eye, before Hans muttered out in a defiant voice, "I'm not sorry, Elsa."

* * *

**I wasn't expecting to have Hans' family in this story, but I don't regret adding them. They'll be leaving soon though, because the story wouldn't work any other way. **

**Ok so to answer some questions you probably have. Anna is just sort of catching on that there's something going on with Elsa and her wrists. It's just a hunch at this point; she has no idea what she's looking for. **

**Basically, I am not creative enough to have come up with the twelve big brothers, so I searched google for some and I found a picture on tumblr, which I will put a link to up on my profile. I'll explain what they all look like in detail in the next chapter.**


End file.
